A Shout Out to All Those Mid Life Wives and Mothers, Who Stuck it Out in Order to Figure it Out!
Women are in a new era, treading out onto new ground- we have options for the first time in history (thanks to the brave ones who burnt their bras for our freedom), but those historic roles of our mothers are at conflict with the new notions of freedom from the domestic space we have grown up with. If we leave the kitchen and laundry rooms, then how do our children know how to fend when they become adults? The men may not want to replace us and why would we want such role changes, we fought to become equal, do we want men to replace our old selves? I am rambling on, but during my 6 years of my studio degree, I spent all my time making art on this dilemma. My art is not pretty or marketable, but speaks to me and makes my partner( who is a wonderful mate) very annoyed! Therefore it does communicate my feelings.

I have interacted of late with others in my age group and with similar circumstances and found I was not alone. I desire to be home and give my family a wonderful safe fostering place to come every day. Yet when the chicks have flown the nest, where does that leave me? What did I sacrifice for their well being? Did I break down the work of my fore mothers by nurturing so much?

Many choose to go in a new direction, find a new life, new man and try to find what was missing. This is a road I cannot discuss having never travelled it, yet I have seen many take it, also struggling with where they fit into our new age.

I spent one day on campus with three pairs of work boots tied around my waist and dragged them around for hours. (It was for a performance art class) -yes I looked crazy, but not to the women who were in the same boat. They understood the ground we must still break. The need to be a contributing female in the new Global World we live in. A role model, a wife, mother and maintain composure that leaves us exhausted at the end of the day. I have paved a road for myself once my chicks have flown the coop, it was a struggle of wills, but ultimately kept this little family together, even with the constant push/pull of our gendered spaces.

I have chosen to stay on my road of wife and mother, but still struggle to find my fit as I let my children go off into the new world. I hope their daughters have the choice to be whom ever they want and that we have managed to give them the ability to love and nurture on their own terms.